I am so excited to announce that I am got a job and am going back to work!  

After I had my daughter, I left my marketing job behind to raise my kids, and I’ve long wanted to return to the working world. I want to be able to do something every day that is for me, where I get to show that I am good at something other than just being a mom.  

Now that our son is in the first grade, I started looking at jobs. It had to be the right job, with good benefits and a flexible schedule, so it took a few months, but eventually I found something. It’s a perfect fit and the work will be challenging and rewarding. I am so excited! 

I know that it will be hard to balance work and family, but I know so many great women who do it. Plus, my husband and I’ve talked about how he not only needs to help more around the house, but he has to pick up more of the emotional labor. It will be a challenge, but we are ready to take it on.  

I start next week, and I really can’t wait! 

Once, I had a co-worker who said that our greatest mission as a parent is to raise our children to be good humans, and the best way to do that, she said, was to give them cool experiences. This was before I was a mother myself, but something I continue to think about with my kids.  

My husband and I try really hard to give our kids well-rounded experiences. We let them sign up for piano, soccer, dance, art classes—whatever they want. We give them options to try, and if they don’t like it, we never have to go back. If they love something, though, we let them decide how much of their lives they want to immerse themselves in. We also let them find summer camps near me, and they get to decide which ones they want to go to.  

My husband and I aren’t very religious, but we take our kids to church so they are exposed to that community and that part of life. It’s up to them if they want to continue. We also take them to political events and community activities, and we also try to do one volunteering activity a month.  

We also take our kids on as many trips as we can afford. Whether we stay in our city and explore or take a trip abroad, we want them to know the best way to learn about others is to travel. 

Today has been a tough day. My son is extremely sick, puking everywhere, and my daughter has an attitude. Our house is a mess, and my husband is either working or sitting on his computer. I am not sure where I signed up to be the manager of three humans, including myself, but I would like to take it back.  

Sometimes, I wish I could be like my single friends, taking long vacations and going to fancy parties. I wish I had more freedom and could explore other interests. I know other moms have these feelings as well, but I feel like mine seem to come up more often.  

I don’t know what to do in these moments other than hug my kids and wait for the moment to pass. 

A girl in my daughter’s class is having a birthday party today, and my daughter did not get invited. While there are others in the class that also didn’t receive an invitation, many more did. My daughter is really upset by the whole thing because they were talking about the party at school, and she thinks they will talk about it on Monday. It’s so hard to watch my daughter be so devastated, but I also understand where the other mom is coming from.  

Last year for my daughter’s party, we decided to have it at a pool, and because it was a small pool, we could only invite a certain number of people. I hated that we couldn’t invite her whole class because I didn’t want others to feel bad, but I also didn’t want to invite all these kids, and pay for them to eat cake and pizza, just for the sake of their feelings. It seems weird to coddle them this way, and I want my daughter to learn young that she doesn’t have to do things just to make others happy. That’s a burden woman carry their whole lives, and I want my daughter to avoid it if possible. SO, we only invited a handful of kids, and I got a couple of angry looks at pick up one day, but everyone got over it eventually.  

When my daughter told her that she didn’t get invited to this girl’s birthday, I asked her why she was so upset. She said because others were invited, and she felt left out. I asked if she was friends with this girl, and she said not really. I told her then she spend the day with a friend she really liked, so we made a play date with a friend from soccer. 

Image result for sad birthday party

It was hard to see my daughter so upset, but I want her to know that she gets to spend time with who she wants, and just because other people are doing something, doesn’t mean she has to as well. 

I had my first kid when I was 32. My husband and I had planned to wait at least two years after we got married to start having kids, but then we got pregnant on our honeymoon. It was a good honeymoon. We weren’t expecting our baby girl, but we were happy to have her. Two years later, our son came and we were equally thrilled. But, I was 34, and I knew my fertility wasn’t going to last forever, so my husband and I had to have a serious conversation about whether or not we would have three kids or stop at two.  

When I was growing up, I thought I would have at least six kids. I love children, and I came from a big family myself. But, as I got older, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have kids, or even get married. I could just be a single lady for the rest of my life, or so I thought until this really cute guy hit on me at a book store. The rest was history.  

My husband also wanted a big family. He was a single child and wished he had had brothers and sisters to play with and develop deep relationships with as an adult. When we had our daughter, he was insistent about having another child as soon as we could. He wanted them to be close in age, but he also really wanted to make sure that she wasn’t alone.  

When our son was born, my husband immediately started bringing up a third kid. Again, he didn’t want to have too much space between them, but my body wasn’t ready for it. My pregnancy with my son was really hard on me, and I ended up having to be bed rest the last six weeks. I wasn’t sure I could go through that again, and at least, I needed time to think about it.  

During that time, we adjusted to having two kids. It was a lot more work than we thought it was going to be. Even with one adult to one kid, we seemed to be constantly moving. My husband was also up for a big promotion at the time, which would mean better financial security for our family, so he was working a lot. There would be nights where I was trying to feed the baby and bath our daughter and I would break down in tears. I didn’t know how we could do that with another kid.  

Finally, one night, I explained to my husband how tired and rundown I felt and that I didn’t think having another kid was a good idea. He was so relieved because he felt the exact same way. We agreed no more kids, and then a few months later, he had a vasectomy.  

Sometimes, we think about what a third kid would have been like, but we love our two children, and we want to make them as happy as can be. We don’t regret our choice one bit.