I had my first kid when I was 32. My husband and I had planned to wait at least two years after we got married to start having kids, but then we got pregnant on our honeymoon. It was a good honeymoon. We weren’t expecting our baby girl, but we were happy to have her. Two years later, our son came and we were equally thrilled. But, I was 34, and I knew my fertility wasn’t going to last forever, so my husband and I had to have a serious conversation about whether or not we would have three kids or stop at two.
When I was growing up, I thought I would have at least six kids. I love children, and I came from a big family myself. But, as I got older, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have kids, or even get married. I could just be a single lady for the rest of my life, or so I thought until this really cute guy hit on me at a book store. The rest was history.
My husband also wanted a big family. He was a single child and wished he had had brothers and sisters to play with and develop deep relationships with as an adult. When we had our daughter, he was insistent about having another child as soon as we could. He wanted them to be close in age, but he also really wanted to make sure that she wasn’t alone.
When our son was born, my husband immediately started bringing up a third kid. Again, he didn’t want to have too much space between them, but my body wasn’t ready for it. My pregnancy with my son was really hard on me, and I ended up having to be bed rest the last six weeks. I wasn’t sure I could go through that again, and at least, I needed time to think about it.
During that time, we adjusted to having two kids. It was a lot more work than we thought it was going to be. Even with one adult to one kid, we seemed to be constantly moving. My husband was also up for a big promotion at the time, which would mean better financial security for our family, so he was working a lot. There would be nights where I was trying to feed the baby and bath our daughter and I would break down in tears. I didn’t know how we could do that with another kid.
Finally, one night, I explained to my husband how tired and rundown I felt and that I didn’t think having another kid was a good idea. He was so relieved because he felt the exact same way. We agreed no more kids, and then a few months later, he had a vasectomy.
Sometimes, we think about what a third kid would have been like, but we love our two children, and we want to make them as happy as can be. We don’t regret our choice one bit.