When Your Child Didn’t Get Invited

A girl in my daughter’s class is having a birthday party today, and my daughter did not get invited. While there are others in the class that also didn’t receive an invitation, many more did. My daughter is really upset by the whole thing because they were talking about the party at school, and she thinks they will talk about it on Monday. It’s so hard to watch my daughter be so devastated, but I also understand where the other mom is coming from.  

Last year for my daughter’s party, we decided to have it at a pool, and because it was a small pool, we could only invite a certain number of people. I hated that we couldn’t invite her whole class because I didn’t want others to feel bad, but I also didn’t want to invite all these kids, and pay for them to eat cake and pizza, just for the sake of their feelings. It seems weird to coddle them this way, and I want my daughter to learn young that she doesn’t have to do things just to make others happy. That’s a burden woman carry their whole lives, and I want my daughter to avoid it if possible. SO, we only invited a handful of kids, and I got a couple of angry looks at pick up one day, but everyone got over it eventually.  

When my daughter told her that she didn’t get invited to this girl’s birthday, I asked her why she was so upset. She said because others were invited, and she felt left out. I asked if she was friends with this girl, and she said not really. I told her then she spend the day with a friend she really liked, so we made a play date with a friend from soccer. 

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It was hard to see my daughter so upset, but I want her to know that she gets to spend time with who she wants, and just because other people are doing something, doesn’t mean she has to as well.